What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped sixes mom

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q- Where did Sally go during the explosion? A- Everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

smug face >:}

thumb_up thumb_down -184

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

69

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops