Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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