What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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Adele walks into a bar. The barman says she's too ugly hahahahahahahahahahhahahahha lololololololololololololol

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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