What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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what do mexicans like most. icecubes

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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