"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i black man walks in to a bar.he askes if he can make out with you? the man says"no. black man says"why? the guy says"because im not homersexal. black man says"oh. boss says"hey i told you dont talk to black people. guy says"no i can ekplan.boss says no more of buts or buy. boss says" you are fired guy says"NO! boss says"yup both of you get out! guys say no two guards come to talk them out. THE END`DONE!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why is the asian still in the driveway? her car broke down

thumb_up thumb_down -25

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

thumb_up thumb_down +8

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops