Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Caramel Boing.

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper who? Joking with me will not postpone your death.

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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Get in the car.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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