What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

-What's the difference between a frog? - it jumps higher.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

It got hit by a rocket.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hi my name is Jim

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Double rainbow? What does it mean? Well, a "double rainbow" is a phenomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Dont follow this link.......http://www.google.com/imghp?hl=en&q=blue+waffle&tab=wi

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops