My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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