Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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This joke isnt funny.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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