How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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Whats two plus two Four!

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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