Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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karn chevalier

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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