how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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what is a chicken answer: chicken

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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