Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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Why didn't the Hawaiian man know how to surf? He lives in Kansas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops