What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

What's dead? Your mum.

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

Your mom is so fat...

roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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