Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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Drunk irish man

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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SINCE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY READING THIS, IT WILL GET THE MOST LIKES!!!!!

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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