Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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Roses are red Violets are blue life is a bitch and so are you

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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You wanna see something really scary?

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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