Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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wanna hear a joke? women rights. -ZombieUr

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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Your mama is so fat she has to buy plus sized clothes.

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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