How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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What do you call an arab terrorist with a bomb on his back in the middle of an airport? Don't even worry. You will never be able to pronounce his name.

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My life

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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whats white jizz

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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