A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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