What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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