What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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