You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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John Stamos.

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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