What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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