A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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tim tebow is a great quarterback

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Real jokes.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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