Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

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WHat is worse then Fred singing and cumy condom

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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What happens when you park a new Cadillac with a roll of $100 dollar bills on the dashboard in a black neighborhod? Many residents of that peaceful community will briefly glance at it and admire the wealth of the automobile's owner.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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