A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call an unfunny comment that demeans a group of people? Bigotry

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +7

fjdkhg

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

joke

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +63

why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops