Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

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62

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

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Emily Brunelle is skinny

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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