Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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poop

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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antijoke is the best website.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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