Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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read me write me

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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tom hall

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops