What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

wanna hear a better joke? casey.

so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

Women's rights.

what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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