What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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i like men but im not gay

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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NEVER

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

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What looks like Micheal Jackson but isn't Micheal Jackson A black guy

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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penis

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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