A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Why can't Ray Charles see? Because he's dead.

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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