A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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I went river dancing once. I fell in

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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