Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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