What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

thumb_up thumb_down +43

THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i find your gravy quite lumpy.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

thumb_up thumb_down +25

DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats the difference between madalin mcan and batman...batman returns. not really madalin mcan gets rape fucked by many differnt men at the same time whilst she squeels for help

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops