If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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I am a joke. I am funny.

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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