How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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I grammer is gooder then yours.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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