I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

Yo mama so poor, she can't afford luxuries

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

What happened to the teenager who was raped and murdered? Who knows? They never found the body.

Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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