Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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The women if the wnba are good at basketball

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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Is it normal to eat breakfastr in the morning? Yes By Logan in South Dakota

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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say it aloud and fast: •im sofa king stew ped •ice bank mice elf •alpha Q •mike hunt •mike ock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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