Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

I've got a dig bick

This isn't funny.

what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

Q.why did the chicken cross the road A. To eat some Kentucky Fried Chicken get it KFC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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