You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

thumb_up thumb_down -15

As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man farted. Another man walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

UN

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

thumb_up thumb_down

In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops