Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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A jew went to Germany.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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