Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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