How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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Atheism

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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what do you call a sick eagle illegal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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