Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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4023145287

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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