Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

HOLY SHIT ITS AN AIRPANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

thumb_up thumb_down +18

In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops