why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops