What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a person of Jewish descent and the other is a device for traversing waterways akin to the raft.

did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

A man walks into a bar and gets drink

Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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