How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Scott

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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nice shorts.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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Brittney Spears

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What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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Lacrosse

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops