a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q. How do you know when an asian has robbed your house?? A. Like any other thief, most of your expensive belongings will be gone it depends on duration of robbing and their morality

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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A person from Singapore eats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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