Balls

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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Sarah Palin

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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