You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Q: A Jew lost a penny, a nickel, and a dime. If he found the nickel and the dime, what didn't he find? A: The Mesiah

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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A man gets home from work late at night and his wife is already asleep. Then he remembers that he forgot some important papers and has to drive back to work to get them.

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Hi.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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