Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

equality for women

thumb_up thumb_down +44

whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the girl have twins she was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops