What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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Rock mattress.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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whats black and large -me

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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