Guess what. Butts. www.youtube.com/c/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

How would you rule?

Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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