Knock, Knock Who's There

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

thumb_up thumb_down -30

God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i dont fisish anythi

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops