How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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Waseem is a hard worker.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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Chicken

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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