what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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YEAH THEY DO!

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Racial equality.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Ily bae

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

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John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

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what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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