"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out the tree? Hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out the tree? Peer pressure

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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verry nice how mUCH?

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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