What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

tea with milk?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops