Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

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13 =B you just learned something

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops