Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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