How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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pickle juice?

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Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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Ham sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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