So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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