A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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Q: How does a robber get into your house? A: Through a door.

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rose are red violets should be purple

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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