did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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