Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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1 what do gay horses eat? 2 hayyyy 1 no horse dick

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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The

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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Justin Bieber

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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